books, cynicism, and babies who nap at the same time

my sister rachel wrote her senior thesis on stories and how important they are in the development of the moral imagination in a child. she took on a huge task, really, arguing that children ought to read Good, Moral stories--the classics--and not watch t.v.  she argued that children should be reading books where virtue is actually portrayed as virtuous-- that is, where staying faithful to your spouse when she's dowdy or he's inattentive or the marriage has lost its zing, is lauded. or where the high schooler who doesn't cut class or gossip isn't portrayed as the goody-goody geek.

josh, too, has been talking a lot about story recently. how our lives are stories, how we live them and write them and dream them, whether we are physical writers or not.

i really believe that i was spared much heartache because i read as a child. the characters i loved made mistakes and suffered the consequences. in a way, i experienced the mistakes with those characters and then experienced the consequences, learning the lessons without having to make the same mistakes in my own life. 

this brings me to the elsie dinsmore series. i read everything i could get my hands on, so naturally, i picked these up as well. and i didn't like them, but couldn't explain why. "she's too good," was the only reason i could come up with as a middle-schooler, which seemed lame. shouldn't i want to read books about good characters? i understand a little better now that there is a difference between a virtuous character and a flat, one-sided, unrealistic, "good" character. it's books like these that develop a deep cynicism in young people.

the same thing happens so often when young people are fed a fluff theology of happiness-- if you're saved, you'll be happy, you'll be materially blessed, things will go your way (and if you're depressed, poor, sick, or struggling, there's something wrong with you). so then, what happens when you get to college or have an experience and find out everyone was lying?

we are told over and over again throughout scripture that we will suffer. that we will be poor and sick and mocked for the sake of Christ, and only he, in his own time, will bind us up. not our faith (for we are faithless), not our deeds (for they are filth). many a christian has been far more depressed than his pagan neighbor living in sunny indifference.


but if you're informed and intellectual (and listen to npr) then you're expected to be cynical about christianity, especially if you grew up in a christian home. you smile pityingly at the new christians, knowing this excitement will fade and they, too, will become cynical. and for a christian, there is little else that is more destructive to faith.


in so many ways i feel that josh saved me from becoming cynical. we met and became friends right around the same time i was struggling with these ideas, becoming quite disillusioned after being involved for several years in a form of christianity that held to this happiness gospel, for lack of a better term: the follow-the-rules-and-you'll-be-happy theology.


yet here was an atheist who was absolutely confounded reading c.s. lewis. here was an atheist i respected more than most everyone i knew (and that confounded me). then, a year later, here he was a new christian, blown away by the doctrines of grace, clinging to the hope of Christ, devouring whatever he could get his hands on that spoke Truth. faith like a child is the most fitting phrase  for those months after josh got saved. unabashed, pure belief. he was as far away from cynicism as he could get, and as we fell in love, he pulled me away, too.


maybe none of this makes sense-- i know it's only snippets of stories. but i suppose my point is this: i have a smart little sister. and i have a very wise husband. and, i want to read Good books and teach the Truth about the gospel to my children. i don't want to water them down, because it's watered down books and watered down theology that must end in cynicism. 


PS: can you tell the babies both took naps for an hour at the same time this afternoon??
PPS: i confess i feel very cynical when i listen to christian radio. i try not to. but agh.