what to do with a toddler...?

i've felt at my wit's end about a lot of things lately...

-getting two little boys to sit through two hours of church. (more on this later)
-teaching obedience to a year-and-a-half- toddler.
-scaling the mountains of laundry.
-[still] dealing with an extremely needy infant.
-desperate lack of sleep
-the dishes. always, always, always.

and, well, a totally bored 18-month-old boy.

i'm not comfortable sending ransom out to play in the yard without my constant supervision. there are too many ways for him to hurt himself on this property-- rusty farm equipment, snakes, concrete stairs--oh, and a very busy road. needless to say, he's never out of our sight. this is problematic for me because, of course, i can't live outside like he would like to. when we are inside he has free reign of two rooms--the living room and kitchen. the other rooms (the guest room where calvin naps and the dining room where there are many, many boxes waiting until we move next year) have doors that are always closed.

ransom is not one to play with his toys. it doesn't matter how cool the toy is, he doesn't care about it. here are the things i've noticed that he does love and that we don't want him to do:

-climb on to the couch, then on to the back of the couch, stand precariously, and bang the window and laugh
-exuberantly throw everything (mainly laundry) off the couch and on to the floor
-grab things off the kitchen table (we don't ever leave knives on the table anymore)
-drag out all the pots and pans from the cabinet. and the tupperware. and the canned goods.
-climb onto the kitchen chairs, then on to the table
-play with the toilet scrubber from the bathroom
-tear anything into small bits and spread them around the floor
-find anything small enough and put it in his ear
-play in the refrigerator
-smack calvin in the head
-throw everything

understand that none of these things are done maliciously. if there ever was a joyful child, it's ransom. he simply isn't interested in toys, so he finds other things to do. i honestly don't mind that he doesn't care about toys...it's his destructive nature that is trying my patience. he simply must tear things apart. josh aptly calls him the destroyer.

to think that i thought i would have all girls. when i pictured my life it was on a farm with tidy little girls in pinafores helping me bake bread. oh, how tragically naive.

i would like to have my boys help me with my work daily. folding laundry, washing dishes, etc. i want to have ransom stand on a chair next to me while i wash the dishes (but his first thought is to make broad sweeping motions with his arms and crash everything that might have been on the counter to the floor).  i tried having him help me press out the pizza dough onto the baking sheet, but after smacking the dough a few times he grabbed the sauce, the knife, the veggies that were also on the table. i should have cleared them off.

i don't want to break his curious spirit, or even this destructive nature, as i call it. i want to teach him control and give him appropriate things to do.

neither do i want him dependent on me for entertainment--i want my children to learn independent play.

so, here's my thought. i've got to come up with things for ransom to do (that are fine somewhat unsupervised) while i can get things done around the house after breakfast (before naptime) and while i'm cooking dinner. i'll leave the mid-afternoon hours open for going outside, playing, etc.

i looked up toddler activities on pinterest, but most of them are incredibly messy--fun, but not practical for inside the house. or they're above his level (do people think four-year-olds are toddlers??). or they're activities that require sitting still and focusing (these people must have all girls).

for tomorrow: edible play dough. most of the recipes i found involved lots of sugar (recipe for a stomach ache and bad teeth, i think)...this site has just plain. i'm thinking he may still be a bit young to be interested in this for very long, but we'll see.

i need ideas, people!!